Before I embarked on my new life in Kent, leaving behind the bustling city of London, I had yet another harrowing encounter with the enigmatic veiled woman in white. I was drained, having reached the limits of my patience and understanding. As I stood enveloped by darkness, the only illumination came from her ethereal figure, her very presence confirming her identity through her unmistakable traits and stature.
Overcome with shame, I lowered my gaze, dropped to my knees, and placed my hands on the cold black ground, bowing my head in submission. I was worn out, unable to fight any longer for a cause that eluded my grasp. My lifelong struggle had been a blind pursuit, made more challenging by people’s ignorance of our inherent abilities and the secrets hidden behind their own naïveté.
This sinister pact between the veiled woman, who now revealed herself as a deceptive light being, and the dark entity that had haunted me since childhood, epitomised pure wickedness. Their alliance fed the darkness with love and ideas, all designed to torment me. She was detached from the source, serving only herself, while the dark entity was possessive and hateful. Their entire malevolent pact aimed to steal life force from an innocent child, a victim of injustice.
The veiled maiden embodied false light, love, hope, and truth, but the dark entity held the key to her true nature. Trusting this malevolent force, however, would bring peril upon me. Caught between a rock and a hard place, I struggled to find the balance between the good-in-the-bad and the bad-in-the good. This yin and yang was a double-edged sword, which compelled me to keep guessing and striving for answers.
As I submitted myself at her feet, resentment swelling within, I pleaded with her, “Is this what you want?” She extended one immaculate foot, perfect in size and shape, angelic in appearance but with an unearthly pure white hue that radiated a vibrant, shimmering light. She seemed astounded by my surrender and revelled in it, her face beaming with satisfaction. Yet she did not attempt to raise me from the ground, choosing to bask in her glory whilst seeking approval from the shadowy figures lurking behind her.
My heart seethed with anger, as she revelled in my humiliation whilst continuing to glance over her shoulder, seeking validation from the witnesses of my debasement. As I awoke my once hopeful perception of her transformed into true bitterness. She had revealed herself to be selfish, manipulative, and deceitful. Every interaction with her from there on was a destructive charade, a ploy to use me for her gain.
In a lucid dream with a man wearing a White tunic, before being hoodwinked in my sleep, I was forewarned, “If you choose to continue down this path, they will use everything against you.” However, the alternative option wasn’t given either and remained unclear, perhaps to become as they were.
I was no longer a charity case but a pawn in a wicked game, benefiting the ignorance of others while being deprived of happiness in my own life. The veiled maiden sought to dismantle my awakening and plunge me back into darkness, but I was awake, my eyes were open. Something she had attempted to prevent me from knowing, was that she was the root cause of my suffering, and I could never forgive her, nor did she want me to forget her.
As the constructive negatives persisted, my emotions and excitement had to be tempered. Leaps of faith and blind optimism were no longer an option; I had to manage my intelligence and emotions more effectively. My mind had become a dark place, unable to find solace in either the false light or the darkness. At least the dark passenger had been honest, admitting its hatred and intent to harm me, unlike the veiled maiden who stabbed me in the heart with her poisoned love.
One day, as I lay on my bed preparing for an afternoon nap, another woman’s presence entered my consciousness, bringing with her a glimmer of hope. She whispered, “Let me help you.” Intriguingly, her arrival coincided with the same week I met my feline friend and companion, Leo. Despite her warm, inviting energy, I could not bring myself to trust her, shaking my head in refusal, No.
It wasn’t until I drifted off to sleep that she revealed herself to me. She stood tall and slender, her short wavy golden blonde hair catching the yellow light that radiated from her like warm rays of sunshine. Her energy reminded me of the light that had filled my heart chakra during my awakening experience. As she walked away, looking back over her shoulder, she reassured me, “She (Veild maiden) was always turning Bad“
Her words were a balm to my wounded soul, assuring me that the veiled maiden’s wickedness was not my fault, nor a result of my actions. The veiled woman’s bitterness towards me stemmed from her sense of abandonment, a misguided belief that I had left her behind in a past life. She wanted me to believe that her actions were a direct consequence of my own, but the truth was, that she had chosen her path, and created her demise fueled by her bitterness, anger and resentment.
As I write this post, I can’t help but reflect on how dark my thoughts had become at that stage in my life. I was too consumed with bitterness and frustration, unable to find answers to the countless questions that haunted me. My experiences unfolded like scattered pieces of a puzzle, their non-linear nature testing my patience.
The love of the veiled maiden was like poison ivy, a treacherous labyrinth of deceit, waiting to ensnare me at every turn. I could never anticipate their next move, but the day the golden and radiant woman entered my life, everything changed, her energy was maturer, wiser and of warming yellow light, reminiscent of the sun, rather than of a pure icy white and immature manner reminiscent of the veiled maiden, and although I had initially refused her help, her presence brought a new perspective, and slowly, I found the strength to confront the darkness and the false light that had plagued me for so long, was she my Guardian?